My 5-MeO-DMT experience and ego death

I decided to start this blog with my experiences with 5-MeO-DMT, because I know this is what many people are most curious about when they arrive here and its a great starting point.

I am only writing here about what I see as the basic process — the core that kept returning in every single session I had. If I were to describe everything I experienced, this would quickly turn into a book instead of a blog post. So I will keep it to the essence: what consistently happened, no matter the dose or the session.

As I wrote in the introduction, over the years I have used 5-MeO-DMT more than fifty times. I went from very small doses all the way to very large ones. I was determined not to miss or misunderstand anything, so I smoked it through both pipes and vaporizers.

Let me be very clear from the start: 5-MeO-DMT is extremely powerful. It is not something to take lightly. 5-MeO-DMT (5-Methoxy-N,N-Dimethyltryptamine) is a naturally occurring psychedelic tryptamine found in certain plants and in the venom of the Sonoran Desert toad. It is widely regarded as one of the most intense and fastest-acting psychedelic substances known. A single inhalation can completely dissolve ordinary reality within seconds and often induces a full ego death — a total dissolution of the sense of self.

If you are thinking about working with it, please only do so under the guidance of someone who has a lot of experience. This substance can bring you into some of the most beautiful states imaginable, but it can also be absolutely terrifying. I have personally experienced both sides.

So what actually happens when you take it?

You smoke it, and after just a few seconds you feel it coming on. There is no mistaking the moment it hits you. Reality as you know it starts slipping away, and you can feel your ego — everything it is desperately trying to hold onto — being forced to let go.

At that point, two very different paths open up.

If you resist what is happening, the experience can quickly turn hellish. The resistance usually comes from not wanting to accept that everything you thought was real is actually more like a dream. It is the deep refusal to let go of the belief that you and the people you love exist as separate, solid individuals in a world that exists independently of you.

But when you stop resisting and finally surrender, something completely different happens.

You wake up.

You wake up from the dream we call life. It feels very much like waking up from a heavy dream at night — that sudden relief when you realize you are no longer trapped in it — only this time the feeling is far deeper and more profound. In that moment you clearly see that everything is a dream and that nothing has a solid, independent existence seperate from the whole. It is all one infinite awareness dreaming itself into billions of forms. You and I are one.

Where do you wake up to? You wake up to a state where there is pure infinite mind that is filled with love, peace, joy and happiness.

Can you imagine this? That all of this is more like a dream than solid and real? That you can wake up somewhere and think, “Wow, this life I was living was just a very convincing dream”? It was not as real as i thought it was?

I can imagine that right now you might think this is a load of nonsense. Just because a 5-MeO-DMT trip gives you the idea that it is all a dream does not mean it actually is one, right?

Let’s explore this in the next blog: Infinity from experience

© 2026 Robin Hartings. All rights reserved.
This text may not be copied, republished, or used in any form without prior written permission.

Email

contact@robinhartings.com

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Terms & Conditions

Privacy Policy

Disclaimer

Hartings Coaching · Baroniestraat 28, 4876 VS Etten-Leur · contact@robinhartings.com · KvK: registration in progress